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Let’s Get Real
A couple of strong suggestions for those of you considering a cocktail between now and New Year’s Day. It is important that we have an open and honest discussion of holiday drinking so we not only know what to expect, but can handle ourselves like ladies and gentlemen and remain safe. Let’s talk about the bad so at least we all know why drinking is more serious than before we had bariatric surgery – then you can make your informed decision as it pertains to you.
‘Just Say No’ or telling people to completely abstain because it ‘burns’ when you drink does not work – it is better that we have an adult level of conversation with the understanding that a high percentage of us are going to have a beverage containing alcohol at some point. Not everyone has deep seated emotional issues and is at risk for so-called ‘transfer addictions’ that the media loves to latch on to.
One year or less, THE ANSWER IS NO! Done.
If you have had your Sleeve or RNY or Lap Band surgery less than a year ago: No Alcohol – No further discussion. Your liver and organs have been under great stress in this first year due to the massive amount of weight you have lost. Waste materials from the fat you are metabolizing are being processed by the liver so it is not advised to add alcohol to the mix. Your surgeon or any other professional will confirm this. You have your entire life ahead of you – don’t drink that first year. It’s cool and we can all do that.
What could possibly go wrong?
If you are more than one year post op and you are thinking about having a drink, understand that we do not digest the alcohol in a ‘big ole handbag of a stomach’ before it passes to the intestines. We have a little bitty pouch and therefore the alcohol dribbles right through it to the intestine where it is absorbed at full proof potency and the effects can be greatly magnified – meaning we can get horribly drunk very quickly. Not just a little tipsy, but incoherent, sloppy, fall down, incapacitated, dangerously drunk. What can happen is not pretty and I have been witness to a bariatric post-op rushed to the hospital via ambulance at a bariatric event after doing tequila shots with a crowd. So please take these warnings seriously.
Honey, I’d Like You to Meet My Boss… Boo!
Even if you have been a responsible and experienced social drinker before your surgery, it is never a good idea to experiment at a wedding or in public. I have had people tell me they are planning on having their first post op drink at their wedding then ask what they should have. I cannot think of a worse time to try alcohol for the first time other than at your own wedding – unless it’s at a class reunion, office Christmas party, or your husband’s award ceremony perhaps. If you have made the decision to drink socially, have a few sips of wine at home or a very weak drink that does NOT contain sugared mixers. You may honestly hate the way it makes you feel or you may drop like a rock. I have a bariatric friend who gets very tired after a few sips of a cocktail and then develops a headache. Not fun – so she generally chooses to not drink. She is wonderful and funny without alcohol – so she misses out on nothing by abstaining.
THIS IS YOUR MOTHER SPEAKING
The most important self-imposed rule is to never drink unless you are with someone with whom you can trust with your life. If you were to get very sick or pass out, you would have to rely on someone to help you as you may be completely disabled by the alcohol. Casual friends, co-workers, or your Match.com date do not understand the reality of alcohol poisoning to a gastric bypass patient. I know someone who actually threw up into her glass at a table at a restaurant and then passed out, because her well-meaning friends did not understand that it was dangerous and not kind for them to buy her another drink. Other bariatric friends have drunk dialed me from bathrooms or parking lots of bars at 2am – alone and incoherent. Never put yourself in a situation where you are in danger, but that would be the same if we had not had surgery, yes? (my mother was wise in her teachings)
No Mas Tequila Shooters
No shots EVER – you could die of alcohol poisoning so do not do it. My husband and I run with a tequila loving crowd of friends but I do not drink straight tequila (or any alcohol), even when at Sloppy Joe’s in Key West, it’s 2am, the band is rockin’, someone decides we’re ‘all’ doing Don Julio shots and I find one in my hand. It is tempting, but this is absolutely non-negotiable.
Some Serious Stuff…
Some bariatric post ops develop what is considered to be a transfer addiction; once bariatric surgery renders them unable to eat large volumes of food for comfort they switch to something else and that may be alcohol. If you had a pre-op food ‘addiction’ and find yourself drinking much more than an occasional cocktail, please seek therapy and get help. There is no shame in therapy. Some folks transfer their food for comfort reliance to shopping, some transfer to sex, some drink, have sex, & shop, but that is a whole different discussion. Transfer addictions are real for some and I do not minimize the impact for those who destroy their own lives. There is a recent study showing that those who have had a gastric bypass do have a higher rate of alcohol problems than with other procedures. So please be very aware that the same emotional issues leading some to morbid obesity is what leads others to drink – once eating is not an option, drinking may provide a similar outlet. We know it was never the food, so please, if you switch to alcohol… call us, call someone.
For Those Without Issues, CU@Happy Hour
I do not think that because a small percentage of folks with emotional issues continue to have addiction problems that the rest of us can never have a cocktail at a party for the rest of our lives. Most of us can enjoy an occasional drink without incident – much like in real life. I take criticism for my stand on alcohol, even though I have never hidden the fact that I drink. To grandstand about alcohol being bad and take the position that no one should drink after bariatric surgery is totally ignorant to how people function. People party, people drink, people celebrate – we can make believe they don’t, or we can talk about how to make safe choices.
I had bariatric surgery in 2001 and I do drink – I have always lived a very social lifestyle. My husband and I are ‘cocktails and dinner’ kind of people and often end our week by heading to a favorite Happy Hour on Friday afternoon. I am a very responsible and experienced drinker but even so have made a mistake at a party that made me horribly drunk. I was safe though, as I have friends I trust with my life who noticed that I was having a problem. Know what is in YOUR glass and make sure you can trust who you are with in case something goes wrong. Never drink and drive. Again, these are the same warnings that apply whether or not someone has had bariatric surgery.
Are They Still Called Shirley Temples?
If you have made the decision that you are not going to drink alcohol, walk proudly with your ‘Shirley Temple’ Club Soda Cocktail with a Maraschino Cherry – walking around a party without a glass is an invitation to well-meaning friends asking repeatedly about your not drinking and them wanting to ‘get you a drink’. If you drink water in a wine glass no one will question you. The cherry identifies it as a cocktail and is festive. No one cares what you are drinking, as long as you are drinking something. Don’t feel pressured – this is not 8th grade – stand down anyone who questions you. However, if you are looking for attention and want to start a little bitty pity party, stand at a Holiday Party without a drink or food in hand! It will take ten minutes, but what a downer.
Any questions? Merry Christmas – Happy New Year. Be safe! Life is Wonderful. If you need help, join our BE Support Group and get back on track. Rather than trying to change old bad habits – let us help you to create NEW better habits. Take Today as your opportunity for life!