Domonique Christian, Administrator on BE Support Groups on Facebook, had her Gastric Sleeve Surgery one year ago and has lost over 190 pounds! She is our featured writer… 

Stop the Comparison!

Today, let’s talk about expectations.

Mainly unrealistic expectations. We have spent years, decades even, being overweight and eventually morbidly obese. The swollen knees, painful joints, high blood pressure, high cholesterol have taken its toll.

We choose bariatric surgery to help us to make permanent changes to the way we live and the way we eat. This will finally be the answer we need for our multitudes of problems. Our date has arrived; now our surgery has happened. We’re sipping, we’re walking, we’re chugging down protein. Now, here comes the expectations part.

Suddenly, we believe that the years of weight we have layered on will magically disappear like a thief in the night. The day after surgery we are disappointed because we’re heavier than we were before we went in. We forget that we were pumped up full of fluids during the procedure.

Things snowball and you begin to question why you even had surgery.

Three weeks have gone by and you’ve only lost 17 pounds; you haven’t lost anything in three whole days! What’s wrong here? Why am I not losing? What’s wrong with my band? What’s wrong with my pouch? What’s wrong with my sleeve?

Answer: Absolutely nothing. What’s wrong is our thinking. Why is there the need to put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to drop a massive amount of weight in a short amount of time?

Why do we constantly compare our losses to other folks and think of ourselves as failures when our losses are slower? We never compared our weight gains with others and become depressed when we found out that Robin gained less than I did last month.

Who determines what is “fast” and what is “slow”?

When is the last time we lost pounds in the double digits in two weeks?

Why are we putting ourselves on a timeline?

What’s the hurry – where are we going?

What happens when we get there?

Here’s the thing…  our doctors guaranteed that our surgery would result in weight loss as long as we followed the guidelines.

What no Dr. can guarantee is the rate of speed it comes off, how your body looks afterwards, how your family and friends treat you afterwards, if your relationship survives, or whether you’ll have complications.

Remember, this is a journey, not a sprint. You won’t win a prize for losing weight the fastest, nor will you be burned at the stake for losing weight at a rate that you consider slow. Your journey (just like you) is unique.

Follow your plan, make great nutrition choices, exercise, and enjoy the ride. If your best friend came to you and told you that he or she lost “only 12 pounds in two weeks”, would you congratulate them for doing such an excellent job with their weight loss or would you shake your finger at them and say “THAT’S TERRIBLY SLOW”?

Why can’t we give ourselves that same encouragement? Think about it!


I’ve lost just shy of 200 pounds in my first year. While I’m on surgical cruise control I’m using my time wisely in making the tough changes to my life plus working out like a madwoman. 

I invite you to join me and the other Admins in the Bariatric Eating Support Group on Facebook. We will help you blend the perfect shake, pack your office lunch, order the right Starbucks drink and whip up a Chicken Crust Pizza for family supper – but we’re also the food police you need to keep your eye on the prize. We are here to help you!

Dom C



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7 thoughts on “Stop the Comparison!

  1. Leanne says:

    This is probably THE most significant post I have seen so far. I have been questioning. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I knew no one having had this surgery!! As it is, the one I know the best is my nephew – 1) male and we all know men lose weight faster 2) younger and we all know that the older we are the harder it is to lose. He can sometimes be overbearing since he has lost well over 100 pounds in the last year. I am 6 months out and have lost 80 pounds so I feel that is significant and I am very pleased with my success to date. He, however, is always spouting how I would lose faster/easier if I followed _________. Fill in the blank!

    I love this post and it brings me back to earth. Stalls and minor gains will not set me back any longer. I am going to share this post with my WLS friends and have them start following you.

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