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Support Group Meeting Log
Date : 5 June 2008
Slaying Dragons that Surround Us
Jay_the_Web_Guy: Our first guest of the evening, Susan Maria! As always, it is good to have you here!
Susan_Maria: Thanks Jay, I really appreciate you pitching in to help... and thanks to all of you for being here! People who regularly attend support group meetings lose more weight... its a proven fact! So its cool that all of you who are here tonight care enough to put in the extra effort... and it WILL come back to you!
Susan_Maria: As many of you know... Teresa is in the hospital
Susan_Maria: I just got home from visiting her about ten minutes ago... and she is doing GREAT
Susan_Maria: She is upset that she isn't here tonight... as she LOVES helping all of you
Susan_Maria: The doctors think that she will be able to leave the hospital tomorrow... and do not expect a recurrence of the problem
Susan_Maria: It is NOT weight loss surgery related... she had kidney stones BEFORE gastric bypass... and the little suckers muliplied...
Susan_Maria: Thanks for all the flowers sent to the office... and well wishes... I printed off the posts today... and she cried when she saw them! So thank you from T!!!
Susan_Maria: Sooooo... tonight's topic is slaying dragons that surround us... demons and dragons... that trip us up...
Susan_Maria: We live in a toxic society where at one time or another we all encounter hurtful behavior.
Susan_Maria: As rational beings, we naturally want to protect ourselves from further pain, and in doing so we choose behaviors and adopt attitudes that we believe will help us cope with the emotional pain and conflict created from these experiences.
Susan_Maria: Some of us go too far and become perpetual victims, hermits, and negative critics of life.
Susan_Maria: We live life through the lens of our judgments and quickly retreat from a world we so deeply mistrust, separating ourselves from society in defeat.
Susan_Maria: This is NOT caused by our morbid obesity. Often our morbid obesity is the result of self defeating behavior. Many use food as a mode of insulating ourselves from the world and creating a moment of happiness.
Susan_Maria: As much as we would like to wrap everything up in a neat little package and blame it on obesity, it isn't that simple.
Susan_Maria: If you think that when you lose weight, that suddenly all the bad things that happen to you will all go away and your life will magically transform to all Cake and Roses, you are in for a huge disappointment.
Susan_Maria: You have to make change in your life and get rid of stinkin thinking! LIFE TAKES WORK!
Susan_Maria: I had a very good friend who liked to blame everything on being fat. She motored through life with deep rooted anger towards everyone around her…waiters, bartenders, store clerks, people standing next to her.
Susan_Maria: She wanted to hurt people before they hurt her...and spoke of the day when she wasn't fat anymore and the clouds would disappear, and the sun would come out, and she would finally get an opportunity to live the life she deserved.
Susan_Maria: As she lost weight she grew more and more desperate for change that was not forthcoming. People still ran from her as they could hear her coming. She didn't enter a room with a smile and kind gesture. She stomped into a room and demanded people to attend to her. It was sad...
Susan_Maria: She cried that nothing good ever happened to her; and she was right as bad stuff seemed to just happen to her...
Susan_Maria: She often threw darts at me...saying that I was lucky that I dumped on sugar, and that she deserved some of the breaks that seemed to come my way.
Susan_Maria: However, the fact was that she created much of her own downfall and disappointment in life. She expected things to be bad...and while she said she wanted good to come to her...her actions were counterproductive and became self fulfilling.
Susan_Maria: I don't ever recall her to be hopeful or positive in her outlook of an impending situation. She thought that the restaurant would be full. She knew the pants wouldn't fit her. She figured that it would rain. She expected that the weight loss would not be forever.
Susan_Maria: There was even an ugly incident where she screamed obscenities out her window at an elderly driver who was driving too slow in a parking lot and when she came back out of the drugstore was shocked to find that her drivers side door had been scratched down to the metal with a key.
Susan_Maria: Is behavior like this a result of negativity or a cause? Is this self defeating behavior a result of our life, or the cause of a less than fulfilling life?
Susan_Maria: We need to put out the vibe that we would like in return...treat others as we would like to be treated...with kindness and a smile. Think positive about yourself and others will view you in a positive light.
Susan_Maria: There are times when I see the anger in your faces or hear it in your voices...you are uncomfortable, tired of being morbidly obese, mad at the world for treating you poorly, and have nothing good to say about yourself.
Susan_Maria: How is the world going to treat you when you dont even like yourself... and point out your flaws to anyone who will listen?
Susan_Maria: We are often the cause of our own failure...focus on the good, imagine life without the pain and heartache and make it so.
Susan_Maria: Do you sabotage yourself?
Susan_Maria: READ THESE CAREFULLY AND THINK... criticalness, procrastination, defensiveness, substance abuse, overeating, isolation, perfectionism, hostility, comparing self to others, unrealistic expectations, blaming others, imposing guilt, hanging on to past hurts, hiding our feelings are all ways we set ourselves up for a negative result.
Susan_Maria: Question the way you think. Do you set future expectations based on negative beliefs?
Susan_Maria: Stop judging yourself so harshly. Judgments are not reality; they are your projected illusion of reality based on mistaken thoughts.
Susan_Maria: Please don't try to justify your negative thoughts by making them true. Stop defending a thought system that has hurt you. Change for the positive is GOOD.
Susan_Maria: If you have situations in life that have caused you to eat...if you have problems that cause you pain that haunt you...please don't be embarrassed to get counseling...you can't overcome everything on your own.
Susan_Maria: Love every minute of life and do whatever you can to live it to the fullest…. Positive self thoughts...with a dose of love can begin the healing process.
Susan_Maria: Well... that is what I have to say on the subject... I will toss it over to Linda...
Linda: Thanks Susan and Jay! I'm very glad to be here tonight! I certainly have my dragons that need slaying...I'm sure we probably all do. I think the difference between a successful post op and one who struggles mightily is in meeting those trouble-makers head on. We have to at least work AT learning what they are...what pushes our buttons. If we don't we will never have peace from them.
Linda: It may take a lifetime to change our behaviors and be free of the temptations, stresses, triggers and safety nets that we've always fallen back on, but at least we'll be doing SOMETHING.
Linda: Don't ever give up. There isn't one of us who fights the battles and wins the war straight away. We are morbidly obese for years and it can take years to come to understand why. Most of us have emotional struggles that have helped contribute to our obesity. I don't like to continue to blame anything else...but certainly things in our past can be a factor.
Linda: I truly believe that the worst thing we can do is try to fight alone. I KNOW that I've grown as a person, and been successful in my weight loss and maintenance because I've learned from the experiences of those 'older' than me. We have a tool in this message board that I've yet to find in an 'in-person' support group. We have the trial and error of THOUSANDS of post ops who are very successful and are willing to share how they did it. We have a community here who believes they've found the answer and are living proof of it.
Linda: There is always safety in numbers...our demons become less potent when we can expose them to someone else and find an answer in their experience. So.....let's share!!
Welcome our new panelist...SARAH!!!
SarahP: Thanks, Linda... Hey ya'll! Since this is my first time in chat, I'll give a quick intro... my name is Sarah and I am a 2.5 year old RNY postie. I am a Registered Nurse who currently works in a Post Anesthesia Care Unit... yep, I'm the gal you wake up to after surgery (can I tell you how much easier my job is now that I'm a postie?!?!)! I have the opportunity to take care of bariatric patients regularly...
SarahP: I am down 100#'s from my max weight and doing my best to live life to the fullest. While losing those dreaded pounds, I have found the 'me' I had lost... the sister, daughter, mother, wife and friend... the inner 'athlete'. The joyful woman I always knew was inside, but couldn't tap into.
SarahP: I find today's topic so important... as without this road of self discovery that I deliberately CHOSE to go down, I would not be able to consider my journey as forward moving. What is life, if we live in fear or regret? Let's learn about slaying those dragons of self doubt... self sabotage... fear... feelings of failure... This road of self discovery can be painful. It is hard to look at the 'ugly' things in our lives... I know I'm not the only postie who has dealt with and at times currently battles these demons. I'm in it to win it... are you?
SarahP: Let's get this ball rollin', shall we?
Jay_the_Web_Guy: OK, we are now going to open the meeting to questions.
KarenK: How often should you eat n a day 5 or 6 times? When does it become grazing?
SarahP: personally, I choose to eat 5-6 times per day
Susan_Maria: It's good to eat three meals a day plus two planned protein supplements. Some prefer to call this five small meals. It becomes grazing when you don't fill your pouch... instead eating a bite here and there, and never filling it up.
SarahP: I define 'grazing' as eating in an unplanned manner...
Linda: Personally, I do best with a shake first thing in the morning. Then another a couple hours later.
Lunch is around 1pm followed by another shake in the mid afternoon.
Dinner around 6 or so...sometimes another shake in the evening. THIS IS JUST WHAT WORKS FOR ME.
TrishReeves: I've definitely been doing bad habits WAY too long and I am desperate to get back on track and tackle these demons - bad food choices, grazing, not enough protein or water, no exercise. What would you suggest as my very first start?
SarahP: oops! CLEAN OUT YOUR HOUSE!
Linda: Go back to LIQUID PROTEIN ONLY for a couple days. Yes, then clean out your house!
SarahP: rid your home of the temptations... you know what your triggers are.
SarahP: I think that the action steps are vital to getting back on track... but one of the most important things we can do is identify the WHY of our choices.
Susan_Maria: I think the first step is in admitting you are way off track. Now you have to move to do something about it. Fortunately your pouch is intact... its great to do a few days of liquid protein drinks only... 6-8 a day... so you are NOT hungry... then DECARB that house... toss EVERYTHIGN that is not allowable... then buckle down...
Linda: This will detox you from any icky carbs you have been into and set your body up for a quick loss.You will stop feeling hunger, will stay full longer, and feel less doughy. Plan you meals in the morning. KNOW exactly what you are going to eat through the day and do this until it's a habit again.
Susan_Maria: Exactly Sarah... pinpoint WHY you got off track... was it lack of planning...
Susan_Maria: What caused you to be out of control?... so you can address THAT problem. It's not just the food...
Donika: How do you stop "self medicating" with food when that has been your comfort and crutch your whole life?
SarahP: IMO, the food and food habits are only a symptom of a bigger problem for many of us...
Susan_Maria: You can't stop eating when food is your sole coping mechanism until you recognize the hot button that caused you to reach for the twinkie as a post op.
SarahP: donika... that is a great question. For me, the answer was found over several months of intense therapy. and still today I discover little nuggets of information as to how I tick and what drives my choices.
Linda: It is HARD. This is where counseling comes into play...especially if you don't know why you can't stop doing this. WHY do you want to harm yourself with food...why is it so important to you to not feel the feelings. What ARE the feelings. These are things you MUST answer to heal.
Susan_Maria: We tell everyone that journaling is not only good for WHAT you are eating, but HOW YOU ARE FEELING when you are eating... WHY you are eating... what emotion you have at the time. If you can find patterns you can work on changing them
SarahP: many folks are not able to find these answers alone... it takes outside help. Please don't be afraid to seek help if you need it.
bossyterrier: the support group that my surg center has is an hour away there are lots of people in my area that do not go to support groups because of travel how can i help get one going in my town?
SarahP: I'm punting that one to Susan Maria! *wink*
Susan_Maria: Its tough... because you have to be strong... as when you gather a group of people in person... the tendency of the group is to go NEGATIVE... see we have it easy here... YOU GUYS CANT TALK!!!! So we don't have anyone asking WHEN they can eat pizza...
Linda: Sometimes it's nice to start out as a very informal get together...at a park, the library, a church basement. That's what a group of people up by me did...the group isn't meeting anymore, but we still keep in touch and I know they are there if I need them.
Linda: That does help!! No arguing!
Susan_Maria: This is why our online group and message board is so popular... it is simple to log on... and learn. Its good to make a few message board friends... and then add on. We have several groups on our board that meet informally.
debado: Be careful ... you should have someone trained in group sessions
SarahP: honestly... I have never attended an in-person support group. I spend alot of time on this message board... soaking up what I need and giving what I can back.
Susan_Maria: Very true... it is important to be able to recognize if someone is in dire need of help... but to have an informal group that shares recipes and support is a great idea
debado: If someone is in trouble emotionally, this can be dangerous if there is no one trained in group sessions
Cheryl_W-: I am about 8 months out and tend to eat the same things everyday. I do try variety sometimes, but a busy schedule sometimes works better when I just structure the same food. Can this lead to your body getting used to certain foods and cause stalls?
debado: Yes, On-line Rocks!
debado: Some studies show that food boredom or eating the same things is what thin people do
SarahP: Cheryl... that question might be better answered by a registered dietician... but my gut reaction is no.
debado: Same foods, known calorie count and protein intake.
Linda: During my losing phase I ate the same thing every day for almost a year!!
Susan_Maria: You can't argue with food that doesn't come back up! I tend to stick to tried and true foods too. There is nothing wrong with eating tuna salad and cucumber slices with seasoned salt every day... the protein is just as good on day one as day 135.
Susan_Maria: Last thing you want to do when you are in a hurry is to try something new...
SarahP: ohhhh.... cuc slices! it has been forever since I had that!
debado: Cottage cheese, yogurt every day .yummm
Linda: LOVED IT! It was a no brainer while I was still learning my pouch and relearning to COOK wls approved foods.
Susan_Maria: One time I bought chicken tenders on the way home from work... and they smelled so good I ate one in the car... and I had to throw up in my purse!
Linda: Lovely.
Susan_Maria: Oh wait... that wasn't me... lol... BUT ANYWAY... it's good to have foods to rely on!
SarahP: correct me if I'm wrong Susan Maria... but that is a prime example of a former bad habit biting you in the... tush?!?!
Linda: I still do that to a certain extent...with the pro shakes and the yogurt every single day.
Susan_Maria: Yes... that would be correct Sarah
lynne15: i have 1.5cc in a 10cc band, i find that i can't eat more than a few bites at a time without getting stuck & pb'ing, how can i be sure to eat right without grazing throughout the day? I end up eating a few bites every couple hours.
SarahP: *wink*
debado: Protein shakes are important for protein intake
Linda: It's PLANNED...so you are still in control. If you were 'grazing' for grazing's sake, then you'd be in trouble. Between meals...be sure to get your shakes in for the nutrition that you need.
SarahP: vomiting with a band is something you certainly want to avoid... I would encourage you to make sure your food is quite moist and chewed beyond identification.
Susan_Maria: okay... with Lap band folks... TEXTURE is crucial... if you can't eat more than a couple of bites... it is likely you are eating foods that are too dense or not moist or soupy enough. You have to start off with thin soft textured foods and go from there...
Susan_Maria: VERY softly cooked foods... if you are even thinking about chicken... you have to make sure it is dark thigh meat, cooked until it falls off the bones and melts into the sauce.
debado: Turkey Chili ... chewed well.
Susan_Maria: FISH and shrimp are of a very good texture... with sauces and salsas... to moisten... and CHEWED beyond recognition... Supplement with protein to make up for what you cannot EAT in solid food
Linda: Custards, yogurts, quiches...soups, chowders with very soft veggies.
Candace: Going back to liquid protein for a few days, do we count that as our water or would water be in addition to the protein?
debado: But protein shakes or bullets to start ... then try the solids for texture.
Susan_Maria: protein drinks count as water... everything we eat has moisture in it... so as long as you consume 64 ounces of liquid you are good to go
SarahP: Personally, I count the water as water. If for some reason I'm using milk, I don't count that in my fluid intake.
debado: oops - late typing.....liquid protein is a fluid .. It counts
Linda: I drink water, too...you WILL float, but just think of all those toxins flushing away!! Your skins will love you!
Susan_Maria: but it doesn't hurt to take in more... don't split hairs on liquids... drink an extra glass...
waitingtobethin: When I first wake up and up until 11 or 12 am, the thought of food or a shake makes me ill. How do you overcome this and get in the habit of 5 or 6 small meals?
debado: Water water ... fluid is fluid... milk protein water more than 64 ounces would be great.
SarahP: WTBT... half a bullet squares me away on those days. Right off the bat...
debado: This depends on what your pouch can handle
SarahP: half a bullet is literally one swallow and 25g of protein. you simply can not beat that.
debado: Bullets excellent start ... AcheivOne
Susan_Maria: You need to try different things so that you can get in some protein earlier... as you need to get your body out of the conservation of energy mode ...
Susan_Maria: Try WARM drinks... warm Matrix cocoa.. veryyyy soothing
Susan_Maria: You are sabotaging your own bad metabolism
SarahP: for many of us, avoiding breakfast was a big part of our pre-op habits.
debado: If you are a hot coffee person .. try Vanilla protein as creamer
Linda: Warm is nice to a picky-pants pouch! And you'll start to feel so much energy getting some pro in earlier,.
Susan_Maria: Need protein early... I HATE breakfast... and DO NOT FUNCTION before coffee... and do not want to eat... BUT I put vanilla protein into my coffee.
Susan_Maria: so therefore no one kills me... and I get protein in too to start off my metabolism
SarahP: a warmed vanilla RTD w/ a T of low sugar chai... heaven in a mug!
Susan_Maria: I LOVE the Big Train Chai... with Vanilla Labrada RTD
Susan_Maria: I keep trying other Chai's and HATE them... too much clove... but I love the BIg Train we sell
debado: I Love the Whey Gourmet Vanilla and DaVinci Chai
SarahP: talk about redundant meals... chai is my brekke every day!
tjenkins: Do you seem to get hungrier if you don't take your vitamins or the right kind of vitamins?
SarahP: I have not experienced hunger related to my vitamin intake... I experience hunger when I am not feeding my body 'good' food.
debado: Hungrier without vitamins ... no Tired.. YES
Susan_Maria: Naaaaaaa.... you won't get hungrier... but you may get more tired, or see a little more scalp.
debado: Without the right vitamins or good vitamins you will feel run down
debado: Some people get tired ... feel bored and that leads them to eat
Susan_Maria: Vitamins feed your body function... but shouldn't effect hunger mechanism. PROTEIN keeps your hunger down.
Susan_Maria: Protein smashes hunger. Carbs CREATE hunger
debado: Boredom and eating is a "Dragon"
Linda: That's mine...I have to stay busy.
LoriBaby: I struggle with something that I'm sure a lot of us worry about- Fear of Failure. Overall I'm doing well- following "the rules", almost at goal, changing my relationship with food, etc. But, if I have even one small slip up my mind starts telling me, "See, this isn't going to work either! You are going to gain all of the weight back like you did before WLS." I know that this is an irrational thought because I'm making permanent changes that I didn't in the past. But, I don't know how to change it, and it drives me crazy!
SarahP: Lori... that is a GREAT question.
Linda: Time. The longer you are successful and keep doing the good behaviors, the easier it will be to believe that you can actually do this!
Susan_Maria: Wow... I can relate to this one. I think that the brain serves a large purpose in bariatric success... I talk myself!
debado: Everyone I know feels that this surgery will not work for them
Linda: We failed miserably at diets in our fat past. There is no wonder we don't imagine that we will win this time.
debado: Fear of gaining weight back scares all of us
SarahP: I have had a serious issue with failure in the past (sometimes the too recent past!)... maybe tweaking how you look at failure would benefit you. Utilize your past mistakes as knowledge for your future success.
debado: Following the rules is so important
SarahP: and then consider making the choice to pursue that topic with a trained professional... it often is too hard of a topic to work thru alone, in my experience.
Susan_Maria: I reason with myself... when I start talking negative and stinkin thinkin creeps in to my brain... I tear apart my statement and THINK about why it is NOT true
Linda: You NEED a healthy fear or there will be no consequences that will bother you. Keep a little, but give yourself some credit, too. YOU ARE BEING SUCCESSFUL RIGHT NOW!
debado: Oh yes, some fear is good. Use it as a tool
Susan_Maria: I do think that in this case that speaking with a therapist would be good for a few sessions... to make sure you are on the right track.
SarahP: maybe clarify the line between attempted perfectionism (which will always result in some form of failure) and reality based attempts at success.
debado: Tune-ups are important
debado: Some people only see a therapist once pre-op
Susan_Maria: That is excellent Sarah...
Linda: Don't define your success as when you reach goal...feel the success each and every day that you make healthy choices.
debado: With all the changes going on - physical and emotional .... tune-ups are important
Linda: You are winning TODAY!
Susan_Maria: So maybe small successes, rather than one large goal can help you to realize that you ARE making permanent and POSITIVE changes
debwolf: how do you use the protein powders at work? do you take the shaker with you everyday?
debado: Yes
Linda: Yes...
Susan_Maria: yes...
SarahP: Oh yeah, baby!!! I put dry powder in a shaker or bottle of some sort and fill the water when ready to drink. no fridge needed!
debado: If you put a scoop or two in a shaker ... add ice and water at work
Susan_Maria: Put your scoop in the shaker, and toss it into your purse
Linda: I keep ziploc baggies of pro powder in my purse.
debado: I did this at the airport, too
Susan_Maria: LINDA! be careful with that one... lol
debado: Ooops - not thebaggies thing
Susan_Maria: We had a customer in Boston... who was walking into a support meeting...
Susan_Maria: and one fell from her purse into the parking lot...
Susan_Maria: policeman saw it fall... and actually took her to the station
Susan_Maria: she kept yelling... TASTE IT TASTE IT... ITS PEACH NECTAR
Linda: Oh good grief!
Susan_Maria: Policeman said.... they only do that on TV lady!
Susan_Maria: one time at Band Camp...
tjenkins: Which ready to drink is the BEST?
debado: AcheivOne
debado: Whey-Up
Linda: AcheivOne for me, too!
SarahP: gosh... that question will yield you 11 different answers from 10 folks!
debado: Cytosport
Susan_Maria: the ones we carry at BariatricEating.com as they are pulled from ALL the ones on the market... and we only carry the ones that we love to drink...
debado: I could go on
Susan_Maria: the ones we carry at BariatricEating.com as they are pulled from ALL the ones on the market... and we only carry the ones that we love to drink...
debado: I could go on
debado: Depends on what taste you are looking for
tjenkins: Does the liquid protein days make you feel weak?
Susan_Maria: I love CYTOSPORT... AchievONE... WheyUP... LABRADA BANANA with DaVINCi Butterscotch or Macadamia NUT syrup is TO DIE FOR
SarahP: it shouldn't, so long as you are taking in enough calories and protein... and water!
debado: Not me ... de-carbing can make you a little jittery
Linda: Some people say they feel weak...I don't ever get that. I feel less dragging...less poofy...more clear.
debado: I want what Linda's drinking
SarahP: keep in mind that studies show switching to a true low carb intake causes our bodies to release extra water... we need to make sure we take in more than enough water to offset this.
Susan_Maria: you have to consume enough calories and WATER so you don't feel week... besides most of us have enough STORED FAT we can burn for fuel so we shouldn't be fainting anytime soon
Linda: PROTEIN baby! (Plus lots of caffeine!)
debado: Thanks Linda
Susan_Maria: drink 6 to 8 shakes on a liquid protein day... you will be drinking one every couple of hours...
Linda: Some get headaches...I really think that is the carbs withdrawing.
audrie: I tried heating the Matrix once and it became a solid lump
debado: The website has directions
SarahP: zowie!
Linda: I think everyone should get a hand held blender wand. NEVER any clumps even with super hot coffee / water.
debado: I can lump anything
SarahP: lol deb... me too!
Susan_Maria: You have to put the scoop in a mug... and blend it into a SMOOTH paste with a little tap water... smooth smooth work it with a spoon... THEN add HOT but NOT boiling water.. VOILA
debado: Just like the website says
Susan_Maria: Your water was too hot... or you microwaved it... I don't nuke it
Jay_the_Web_Guy: Time for just a few more Questions
MaryAnn_2008: I was told to take Zinc for my hair... Does this help??
Susan_Maria: Nope... there are truly NO studies linking Zinc to prevention or regrowth of hair loss... IT IS A PLACEBO
debado: Our body chemistry needs a little of everything everyday
debado: Biotin helps with shine and thickness ... but not with growth
barb-FL: my nutritionist said it takes 21 days to change a behavior, and changing one or two at a time is one way to slay those dragons, how to handle behavior change ?
Susan_Maria: Zinc and Biotin... are often mentioned... but docs and nutritionists say no go... BUT many people take them because they are desperate... TAKE MORE PROTEIN INSTEAD
Susan_Maria: YOU HAVE A SMART NUTRITIONIST!!! We need to give her an award... for giving great advice.
debado: My psychologist says six weeks.... I don't time it!
SarahP: Barb... I've heard something similar. the 24-200 rule. 24 days or 200 times of a new behavior to become a habit.
Susan_Maria: I heard that quote with all kinds of times mentioned... it's the point though
debado: Some of our dragons come in pairs and must be slayed together
Linda: Just don't try to change too many things at once. It's very overwhelming and can get discouraging.
SarahP: again, I believe that many of us must do more than just change a habit... we must define the 'why' that drove it in the first place.
debado: Excellent point Sarah
Susan_Maria: True LInda... too many people give up all the habits at once and feel deprived that they are left with NOTHING... which is why I believe that a little sugar free is a good thing!
Jay_the_Web_Guy: Ok times up for tonight's meeting. This will be the last question.
SarahP: for me... breaking the habit of putting a cracker in my mouth is great... but I think that I am at continual risk of putting said cracker in my mouth if I don't define why I am making a choice to sabotage my success.
amanda_v: how can I stop other people from trying to bring us down? My mother is constantly telling me that I am re-gaining weight, and I'm really not. it really upsets me, but i don't know how to cope with it.
Susan_Maria: SMILE... and say... THANKS MOM, I WILL GIVE THAT THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES!
Jay_the_Web_Guy: LOL
SarahP: amanda... I think you answered your own question. Can you stop someone else's behavior? Nope. Can you stop how you receive said behaviors? Absolutely. It is your choice to accept others guilt/fears/etc... they throw your way.
debado: You can change your reaction
Linda: If it continues you may have to out-right ask her why she is wanting or expecting you to fail? Otherwise let it roll off...be the bigger (really, smaller!) person!
SarahP: I personally would counter that statement (in my head!) with: I am a healthy woman. I am right where I am supposed to be. (then I'd zerbert them... again, in my head!)
Susan_Maria: Many people are negative... it is EASY to be negative. YOu have to not allow people to make you feel bad about yourself. I know that you can't help it... but you really have to talk to yourself OUT LOUD and reason as to why what she says isn't true.
Linda: She's jealous or envious of your success...it's frightening or threatening to her for whatever reason. Don't make it reduce your joy.
Jay_the_Web_Guy: I hope you all had fun tonight and gained great info along the way.
Jay_the_Web_Guy: Thank you all for attending the meeting tonight. Also, thanks to the speakers and their wonderful bowl of knowledge that they present here every week.
debado: Thanks Jay ... you rock!
barb-FL: I am so grateful to find this site, and support chat too! I wanted to say hello, I am getting prepared for my surgery, to be done the first week in Aug. I am so glad to find all of you and your products too!
Linda: Thanks Jay...super job!
SarahP: thanks jay!
Linda: GOOD LUCK, BARB!! Back to log index
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