Beauty and the Lie
Guest Author, Katharine Warmerdam
Beauty isn’t size 0. It isn’t size 5 shoes. It isn’t blue eyes, or brown, or green. It isn’t brown hair, or blonde, or black, or red, or purple, or blue. It isn’t brown skin, or white skin, or olive skin. It isn’t 5’4″ or 6′. It isn’t full lips or thin lips, prominent cheekbones or deep set eyes. It’s not a tiny waist or full hips or a round derriere.
Beauty isn’t what strangers see when they look at us. It is the essence of who we are that comes from our words and the way we move through life and the life that shines from our eyes.
Beauty isn’t our appearance, but rather who we strive to become. Our true selves. Kind, thoughtful, a peacemaker, caring, compassionate, forgiving, patient, someone who sees the value in others and finds a small way to tell them so with words or without.
I know a secret. It’s a secret that you know too, though we don’t talk about it. You think you are ugly. Hideous even perhaps. You think you have no value and that you are invisible in a sea of thin people. You think that your weight defines you and by definition you are fat and ugly and worthless.
It’s a lie.
Every time someone whispered behind your back it cemented the lie. Every fat joke and every outfit you tried on that wouldn’t fit made the lie more true. Every embarrassing, humiliating experience you suffered because of your weight made the lie more and more real. Every time you ate food in secret, you fed the lie and it grew. And along with the lie, shame grew too.
And then one day you decided to fight back. You started to think about having Weight Loss Surgery. Maybe your family or friends discouraged you from doing it, and that made the lie grow more. But you used the full balance of your will to grasp onto the hope that surgery might not fail you, like all the others before. The weightwatchersatkinsjennycraigoptifastslimfast and million other things you tried. So you laid on that gurney in the OR and you put your last hope in the hands of a surgeon who said he could help.
That doctor gave you a pouch or a sleeve or a band, but for all his fancy instruments and laparoscope, he couldn’t see the secret buried there deep inside you and with all of his years of skill and practice, he couldn’t remove what he couldn’t see.
So you went home from the hospital with your post op instructions and your tiny hope that this time would be different and that the lie would be mute.
Those first weeks were hard and you wondered if you’d made a terrible mistake. And the lie told you that you had.
As the weeks and months moved on, and the weight fell away even when your strayed from the plan, you thought the lie had finally died. But it was just waiting.
You lost a hundred pounds that year, and then you began to believe that the surgery fixed your weight problem. You began to eat and drink things that you knew you shouldn’t. You poured a soda and drank it with dinner and had a sliver of cake. Just a bite really.
The weight loss stopped. And even worse…..the weight began to come back! And the lie you thought had died rose like a monster and overtook your blossoming hope. It called you a failure and told you that you would always be fat and rejected and alone and ugly. And you cried. You cried for your hope that was fading away and you cried for the little girl inside you who believed you, that this time you could lose the weight, and have value and worth.
The lie can’t be conquered with scalpels or food. It won’t stop growing until we look at it. Until we really see it for what it is. It is for us to understand for the very first time that we are BEAUTIFUL because we have value and power and intrinsic WORTH. And the knowledge that the lie was never true makes it shrink and withdraw but that’s not enough. We have to dig up the lie with our TRUTH and our STRENGTH and throw it away where it can never take root again. And then stomp on that dead withered lie and proclaim that you’re BEAUTIFUL and WORTHY and you WILL meet your goal!
So the lie was your secret that no one could see and the battle for truth was your best victory!
Then set out your vitamins and protein and get Back on Track and let the truth finally soar as the weight falls away. Because NOTHING can stop you when you know what you’re worth, and the weight will fall off as you do what it takes. And never again let a lie be your truth because the truth is you’re worth it and you always were!