Domonique Christian, Administrator on BE Support Groups on Facebook, had her Gastric Sleeve Surgery two years ago and has lost over 250 pounds! She is our featured writer… 

Stop the Comparison!

Today, let’s talk about expectations.

Mainly unrealistic expectations. We have spent years, decades even, being overweight and eventually morbidly obese. The swollen knees, painful joints, high blood pressure, high cholesterol have taken its toll.

We choose bariatric surgery to help us to make permanent changes to the way we live and the way we eat. This will finally be the answer we need for our multitudes of problems. Our date has arrived; now our surgery has happened. We’re sipping, we’re walking, we’re chugging down protein. Now, here comes the expectations part.

Suddenly, we believe that the years of weight we have layered on will magically disappear like a thief in the night. The day after surgery we are disappointed because we’re heavier than we were before we went in. We forget that we were pumped up full of fluids during the procedure.

Things snowball and you begin to question why you even had surgery.

Three weeks have gone by and you’ve only lost 17 pounds; you haven’t lost anything in three whole days! What’s wrong here? Why am I not losing? What’s wrong with my band? What’s wrong with my pouch? What’s wrong with my sleeve?

Answer: Absolutely nothing. What’s wrong is our thinking. Why is there the need to put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to drop a massive amount of weight in a short amount of time?

Why do we constantly compare our losses to other folks and think of ourselves as failures when our losses are slower? We never compared our weight gains with others and become depressed when we found out that Robin gained less than I did last month.

Who determines what is “fast” and what is “slow”?

When is the last time we lost pounds in the double digits in two weeks?

Why are we putting ourselves on a timeline?

What’s the hurry – where are we going?

What happens when we get there?

Here’s the thing…  our doctors guaranteed that our surgery would result in weight loss as long as we followed the guidelines.

What no Dr. can guarantee is the rate of speed it comes off, how your body looks afterwards, how your family and friends treat you afterwards, if your relationship survives, or whether you’ll have complications.

Remember, this is a journey, not a sprint. You won’t win a prize for losing weight the fastest, nor will you be burned at the stake for losing weight at a rate that you consider slow. Your journey (just like you) is unique.

Follow your plan, make great nutrition choices, exercise, and enjoy the ride. If your best friend came to you and told you that he or she lost “only 12 pounds in two weeks”, would you congratulate them for doing such an excellent job with their weight loss or would you shake your finger at them and say “THAT’S TERRIBLY SLOW”?

Why can’t we give ourselves that same encouragement? Think about it!



I’ve made it to goal and am currently in maintenance.  I’m using my time wisely in making the tough changes to my life plus working out like a madwoman. 

I invite you to join me and the other Admins in the Bariatric Eating Support Group on Facebook. We will help you blend the perfect shake, pack your office lunch, order the right Starbucks drink and whip up a Chicken Crust Pizza for family supper – but we’re also the food police you need to keep your eye on the prize. We are here to help you!



17 thoughts on “Stop the Comparison!

  1. Delores says:

    Thank you so much. My 18 year old daughter is constantly being compared to be(55 yrs old) by others. It frustrating for her and angers me. She is 3 yrs RNYt and I am only 1 yr RHY. This has help us both. THANKS AGAIN

  2. Kathy Johnson says:

    First of all congratulations on your success! Great reminder about how important it is to remember the ultimate goal–health not number of pounds lost. I am grateful that I was one of the “early” ones, having my RNY in 2003. I was fortunate to not weigh myself at all for the first 2 years. In fact, I used Curves as my place to work out and it made them crazy that I wouldn’t let them tell me my weight/measurements (they insisted that they do take them once a month). In order to keep my focus on MY goal I didn’t want to become obsessed with the number on the scale–after all I had done that my whole life with disappointing results. I needed this to be different! And it was. I’m about 25 pounds up from my original loss of 140 pounds. I’m looking to get back to the basics–protein and movement. This is a great reminder that I need to look at how my choices make me feel…and get my focus back off of the scale!

  3. CeeJay says:

    I must say…you are amazing and I do hope you are sufficiently appreciated!! I am 42 days post op for gastric sleeve and I’ve been beating myself up over one or two pounds if they’re not in the right direction!! And yes…I have wondered why I ever did this, ALTHOUGH leaving the processed sugar and white carbs behind has been liberating, however difficult. But this article has shown me how to truly re-focus on what’s important instead of stressing about ultra speedy weight loss!! Thank you and thank you again!!


    Thank you for this wonderful message.I will be one year out on 7/25.I’ve lost 65 lbs and I have to say I’m thrilled.Yes I’ve lost slowly but I’m good with it.It’s wonderful to look in a mirror and be proud.I am 66 years young.

  5. Katrina Jones says:

    When I reached my goal weight it all seemed so easy to stay on track. Then last year I had two tragedies happen and gaines again, I can firmly say this post is the most inspirational item I have read in a long time!

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