Ty and I just returned home from a trip to Mexico. If you dont start living now, you will one day be 95 years old clutching an unchecked bucket list. You don’t have to go far... you really do not have to go anywhere. Joy for life comes from the inside. It’s in how you react and move through the world. When you make time for gratitude in your day, happiness follows and you'll find your life changes for the better! So true.
This was one of several epiphanies that came to me while sunning at the pool - no doubt fueled by the Sugar Free Watermelon Margaritas I 'taught' the bartenders to make for me. By day three, I could simply appear and one would appear. Magically. It was magic because now that I am home, I sit and no one brings me watermelon cocktails plus I have a lot of laundry to do.
Epiphany 2. Cocktails with sugar DO NOT make for a better vacation, they don’t taste better and compromising this line in the sand sabotages your future. IF you drink a cocktail or two on occasion, have something in mind that you can order that works for you. I am 20 years post op and I occasionally drink... but that doesn’t mean I need to leave my brain at home and order 800 calorie frozen cocktails that would have brought me home pounds heavier rather than lighter. [Sugar Free Watermelon Margarita isn’t all that easy to order locally near home but it is Don Julio silver tequila, lime juice, fresh unsweetened watermelon juice, shaken with ice and poured over ice. Before any smarty pants thinks of challenging the sugar free aspect, think twice as I understand watermelon has natural sugar. So do tomatoes. No sugar means no added sugar - as in sugar syrups or mixers - and 12g natural sugar from fruit is a whole lot better than 110g added sugar.]
Epiphany 3. Thin people order vegetables and fat people do not. [STOP right now if you are going to push back with the story of your skinny husband who doesn’t eat a single vegetable, because you know it has nothing to do with you.] OBSERVATION: Fat people order fries and eat most if not all of them - they order them with cheese sauce. Thin people order VEGETABLES. Get this through your head and life after obesity surgery will be easier for you. On every menu in Cabo there were fries... know why? Fat Americans. There were also 6 options for GRILLED VEGETABLES... know why? Health Aware Americans and the rest of the world eat vegetables. Don’t use a vacation or special occasion to ORDER FRIES. Get over it and just order the vegetables... they're delicious. One evening, I tried to talk my husband into ordering fries. (you know how that works, you fatbrain your husband or kids to order what you want so you can have some???) He wanted the vegetables, he ordered vegetables, I ordered vegetables... everyone lived.
Epiphany 4. Order what is on the menu. There is SOMETHING on that menu where you don’t have to create drama for your entire table. Side epiphany: If you constantly find yourself in fast food joints or having trouble finding something appropriate for a person who had STOMACH REMOVAL SURGERY, you are NOT speaking up and allowing your *needs* to be counted when compared to the *wants* of others. READ THAT AGAIN. Here it is another way to say it… stop letting people treat you like a doormat. You matter too. Speak up and say, 'Id like to eat at ______ today.' Mutually respectful relationships work that way. If you would not be able to say that and be heard, you may have a bigger issue than weight and its probably your life.
Epiphany 5. Buffets sort of suck. Each morning, we would sit at 'our table' and order from the breakfast menu. I like sitting and having food brought to me on a plate. The plate is large, the omelet contains what I want and I can say 'NO PAN' and I don’t get toast to absentmindedly nibble. Breakfasts in Mexico are wonderful. Eggs with three kinds of salsa and beans that are out of this world. Yum. When I signed the check it was less than Waffle House. One morning we decided to go to a different restaurant and have The Buffet. It was almost the same food, except our plates were noticeably more full than other days with 'a little of this and a little of that'. It was delicious but when the check came, it was $70 US dollars. OMG... seventy dollars in Mexico is insane! The other mornings, we ate almost the same food for $15. Why was the buffet so high... maybe to make up for the people who ate A LOT... the multi plate folks who created the high bar for price. While some believe buffets are for variety, which is nice on paper, they are mostly viewed as a way to get your moneys worth. Skip buffets when at all possible, unless you can get over the value thing and embrace the variety concept. I cant.
Epiphany 6. It’s as easy to come home thinner as it is to come home fatter. Walk on the beach to the restaurants, to the town, to the lobby... eat shrimp and snapper, skip the corn tortillas and bread , don’t lament over dessert as its not a big deal, order the Mexican GRILLED food and not the AMERICAN fried cheesy bacon fatty high carb food, chase your spouse around the room OR let him catch you, watch calories as a sport instead of coming up with bs reasons to INDULGE and you will have an AH HA moment when you notice that your cute vacation outfits are a little saggy on you by end of week. I left my last years swimsuit in the condo as it was way too big on my last day.
Epiphany 7. Almost all women think they are too fat and hate their ______ (check one thighs, boobs, arms, stomach, neck... its fairly universal.) Take a deep breath and CHILL. No one I know in real life looks like a Victorias Secret model. No one is looking at your thighs and judging you at the pool. HAPPY IS PRETTY AND EVEN SEXY. Nothing worse than someone who whines about how fat and saggy they are. Pretty soon, people will agree with you to shut you up. I had an extended tummy tuck about 3 years after my bariatric surgery and love having a flat tummy, so don’t get me wrong, I am pro plastic surgery with board certified plastic surgeons. I know many who keep going back for more, but I don’t care that my arms are a little flappy or my legs are a little saggier than when I was 23. Im 57 and am good with it. Make your Peace.
None of these AHHHH HAAA moments have to take place at a resort in Los Cabos. They really take place INSIDE of you... they are IN YOUR HEAD. They are in MY head and have taken years to grow into the way I now live.
Start now and take charge of your life. Change can begin now or at any time... once we understand that the situation that created our need for OBESITY SURGERY was in fact OUR FAULT, we CAUSED it, we CHOSE IT... WE ATE TOO MUCH OF HIGH CALORIE FOODS... it makes it a whole lot easier to say NO to the recurrent behaviors and make better choices that create happiness. Once you are HAPPY inside, it radiates outward.
Fix your view and it fixes your world and your weight. I fought it for a long long time. Own it and change your world. Trust us on this one.