I spied the unmistakeable sign in the window of Dunkin Donuts - FALL DEAL! TWO DOZEN $11.99

The average person walking in doesn't want two dozen donuts, but one dozen is $9.99. And they've got orange frosting and sprinkles! 'The Holidays' start earlier each year. Bags of 'fun sized' Halloween candy are piled high in the everywhere. I don't care a thing about Halloween candy but bought sugar free Werther's Originals. Here's a few rules to put it into perspective.

Rule Number One


Not a single piece. You already know what it tastes like. You can think about it and conjure up that exact taste in your mouth. You can taste it now, can't you? We all have eaten a thousand little cone shaped pieces. One. Color. At. A. Time. You don't need to know how many sugar grams there are in five pieces. You don't need to know the sugar grams in a mini Snickers bar. Halloween Candy is none of your business. It's not a food for people who have had obesity surgery. (Dr. Nowzaradan says it just like that!)

Break glass in case of emergency

Buying the bag of Sugar Free Werther's allows for an alternative so no one feels punished. Which statement sounds more reasonable even though the voices are in our heads? 'You cant have candy corn! You can't have anything.' OR 'You could have the candy corn but why not have a Sugar Free Werther's instead.' Boom.

Find joy elsewhere

Happiness can be found in a slice of crisp peeled apple you nibble while wearing smaller jeans. It can be found while running around the Pumpkin Patch with your children because you can move and even run. It's found in not taking diabetes medicine. True solace can be found in the colored leaves while walking on a Fall day. Get high on life instead of a candy rush!

Big Eye Roll

If you are rolling your eyes right now, this message is to you: please understand that a significant portion of weight lost comes back if you continue to eat around your surgery with foods you know made you fat. Who says so? A couple of million bariatric post ops just like you, who all said '100 pounds gone forever!' You say it too, but its NOT forever unless you change. Calculating the number of mini Snickers you can eat before they make you sick is a very bad thing and if this is you, please get some help. Seeking therapy is a good thing.

Poor us!

Some of you give our support team a hard time about not 'depriving yourself' because you want to have your cake and eat it too, 'in moderation' of course. Since when does not eating donuts, candy, popcorn, bagels, soda, pizza, fried chicken and ice cream mean you are deprived? Most of the world has never tasted these foods and do not appear to be worse off for it. Maybe a little deprivation will do us all good.

Forced compliance

After years of not being able to moderate ourselves, we left the hospital with a surgically created pouch that holds four ounces. If you rely on food to fill you with joy, you'll come up short after surgery too. Take control and refuse to be a victim. Take responsibility for your pre op state and figure out where your old way of eating and lifestyle went wrong. Come up with a new new path with new foods to love. No one dies without candy corn.

Naturally slim people keep their mitts out of the Halloween Candy. They're the ones who take it to the office on Monday so slugs like us will eat it. Don't be the post op who asks 'WHEN CAN I EAT PIZZA AGAIN?" "Can I have chocolate?" "No judgment, but I ate four Reese's Cups yesterday." Groan...

Many of those who have had bariatric surgery just don't seem to get that in order for things to change, we have to change. The world remains the same, we were the one with the food problem. Surgery is easy, we have to make the hard part happen.

Bariatric Recipes Advice, Rants & Support Podcast: Real Talk